Blood And Love
by Elizabeth.Garcia
Summary: Casey has finally accepted that she has feelings for a certain stepbrother. But when he leaves the family without so much as a goodbye what will Casey do? Why did Derek leave? Most importantly will Casey find Derek again? Dasey MoonlightTwilight x-over
1. He's Gone

**Disclaimer: Even though I wish I owned Life With Derek, Moonlight or Twilight I don't. They are property of the Family Channel, CBS and Stephanie Meyer.**

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God I can't do this, I shouldn't do this. Just standing here the memories are too strong. I can't bring myself to open the door to his room, I feel like at any moment he'll come stomping up the stairs to stop right in front of me and start a screaming match for attempting to go into his room. In my heart I know he's okay, I know he's going to come back to me. I know it in my heart but my mind isn't quite so sure. In my mind I know there is barely any chance at him coming back.

_He_ made his mind up, _he_ chose to leave. No one forced him. At least I'm pretty sure no one did. Oh God, what if someone told him to leave? What if he was threatened? I have to find out, I have to find him but were do I start looking? Maybe I can find clues to were he might be

"In his room" I said out loud.

Now I _have_ to go in. I took a deep breath then opened the door to Derek's room. I looked around just in case maybe it had been some kind of joke and he was asleep in his bed. As I glanced at it I noticed it was made. His _bed_ was _made_! I started to actually look around, I noticed that his whole room was clean. Tears started to sting my eyes as I saw that not one piece of clothing was on the floor. The room looked nothing like I had grown accustomed to in the past three years. I walked to his dresser and saw that there was nothing in the drawers. I ran to the closet in hopes of finding that he had at least left a few things to remind us of his existence. There wasn't a single thing. There was nothing in this room. The only things in his room were the bed, the dresser, and his desk with his computer. There was nothing else no pictures, no papers, nothing at all.

Just as I was about to break down and cry something caught my attention. There on his desk were several manila envelopes, six to be exact and a letter on top of the stack. I slowly made my way to the desk.

Once I was standing in front of the desk I slowly picked up the letter on the envelope it read _To Everyone _in true Derek Venturi scrawl. At the sight of that I quickly scanned the tops of all the manila envelops and saw each one had a different name. I quickly snatched up all the envelopes a bit shocked at how much mine weighed. I made my way to the living room and saw that barely anyone had moved from where we had been sitting when we realized what had happened with Derek.

His stuff was still on the table with a small note that said _Sorry but I left for good_ the note implied our worst nightmare. Mom was still being comforted by George she was crying her heart out as George tried to hold it in without being able to. On the other side of the couch Edwin was comforting a crying Lizzie and an in consolable Marti. My voice cracked as I said, "Everyone I found something in Derek's room." At that they all turned to me trying to reign in their tears.

"I found these on Derek's desk they were the only things there." My voice cracked again. I put the envelopes on the coffee table and grabbed the letter I opened it. I started reading it aloud...

**A.N. Okay I fixed it up. Thank you barbequed hamster for pointing that out to me.**


	2. The Letter

**Recap:**

**My voice cracked as I said, "Everyone I found something in Derek's room." At that they all turned to me trying to reign in their tears.**

**"I found these on Derek's desk they were the only things there." My voice cracked again. I put the envelopes on the coffee table and grabbed the letter I opened it. I started reading it aloud...**

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_If you are reading this it means I am no longer with you guys. I'm either six feet under or I've been gone for at least six hours._

_If I'm dead I'm sorry I never told you anything. I just couldn't put you guys in danger so I protected you the only way I knew how. If it was the lesser of two evils then you would have found my wallet, my keys, my phone, and a note on the coffee table. I am truly sorry. I have written you each a letter. The letters are all a bit out of character for me but everything they contain is true to form. _

_Don't come looking for me if I left and try to avenge me if I'm dead. Please I beg all of you to just leave it be. I don't want any of you, even Casey, in any danger for discovering or trying to discover the secret I stumbled upon. Now no matter what the secret is gone with me._

_Casey, I know you're the one reading this note could you please hand out the envelopes. And do me a favor, I want you to read yours in private. _

_Dad and Edwin I need you both to take care of everyone. I'm sorry Nora, Lizzie, Smarti and Case. _

_I'll meet you on the other side. Don't hurry to get there._

_-Derek_

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Once I finished reading all that I quickly handed everyone their letters. We silently waited as everyone read letters. The first to read theirs was mom it said...

**

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**

A.N. I'll have Nora and George's letter to you by Monday. Well that is only if I get to come to the library. So hope I can come the library because that is the only place I have Internet. If I don't then you'll get two chapters when I can post.


	3. Love, Your Son

**Recap:**

**Once I finished reading all that I quickly handed everyone their letters. We silently waited as everyone read letters. The first to read theirs was mom it said...**

_

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_

Dear Nora,

_I first want to want to say I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance in the begging. I now realize that I could have spent the first few months finally having the kind of I always wanted. I want to thank you for actually caring the one thing I never did get from my mom. I'm sorry I was such a hassle. I truly do love you like a mother and I'm sorry I never told you. I love you as much as I loved my mother before she passed away._

_Please keep Edwin from turning into me. And be what everyone needs you to be, the eternal optimist._

_In the envelope you'll find the directions to a store. When you get there tell them your there to pick up a framed picture for Nora McDonald-Venturi. You'll love it. I promise. _

_Oh and hurry up and tell the rest of the family your secret. You and I both know they will all be ecstatic and extremely for you and dad._

_Love Derek_

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She pulled out the last things in the envelope. And precisely as the letter said there was a paper with directions to a store in Toronto. There was also a map and instructions attached to a receipt with the price scratched out. She looked at the letter once more and before any of us could ask she answered the question that was on all our minds.

"I'm pregnant. Derek went with me when I went to my appointment a month and a half ago. I'm three months along now." She said without taking her eyes off the letter and with such caution that it was almost as if she was expecting us to accept a new member to the blended family.

I knew that everyone thought that this new baby was a blessing. Of course the new addition would never substitute the one member we just lost but they would help numb the sting of the pain of his loss.

The next member to read there letter was George. His letter said:

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_Dad,_

_By now you probably know about Nora. Don't feel bad, I just happened to have been home when she was waiting for the results. Once she found out she didn't want to any of us to stress about it. I had sorta forced it out of her which is more the reason why I know. That's why I was so hard on her to not stress to much about things. Well enough of my excuses._

_I want to tell you that I'm sorry I walked out. You probably think I should have told you because you are my father and it is your job to protect me and but there are some things you shouldn't be exposed to, secrets that should remain hidden and things you can't protect me from. I needed you to be okay so that I could be sure the family would be taken care of._

_I know I haven't said this and meant it since I was like six but you are a great father. I also haven't said this to you since I was little but I love you Dad. I always have. I've just been so wrapped up in my "cool" image. I guess I sorta forgot that my family is supposed to be the most important thing I have. I'm sorry and I ask that you please keep being the same father, the same man you've always been._

_Along with this letter you will find a few things. You'll find a slip of paper with the name of a restaurant they have been paid so that you can eat whatever you want. And they will serve you only non alcoholic drinks, hey I have to look after the little tyke even if I'm not around. There is also an account set up with Blake Hotel they have enough for you to stay for 90 days and eat the whole mini-fridge 30 times. There is also an agency that I has also been paid which you can call at anytime. _

_Don't worry about all the money it took to pay for all the gifts to be paid in advance. I didn't do anything illegal I just did a few jobs for a friends dad and made real good money doing it so that everything could be setup._

_I love you dad, truly and completely._

_Your Son, Derek_

* * *

I can't believe he did that. I can't that he was so sweet as to do all of that, he thought of everything. We were finding it a bit hard to continue but we knew we had to, we needed to do this to find some kind of closure.

Next was Edwin. His read

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**A.N. Ugh. Stupid library. Stupid FanFiction. I only get two hours to go on the internet and by the time I had finished doing my research and homework I only had time to upload one. I'm soo sorry. Please don't hate me or send the village people after me. Hehe that was funny. But I'm serious. I'll try my best to come tomorrow but I don't think I'll be able to. Sorry.**


	4. Derek Venturi, Your Brother, Your Smerek

**Recap:**

**I can't believe he did that. I can't that he was so sweet as to do all of that, he thought of everything. We were finding it a bit hard to continue but we knew we had to, we needed to do this to find some kind of closure.**

**Next was Edwin. His read**

Edwin,

_ I'm gonna make this short because I know you want to be strong for everyone. So that's what it's gonna be._

_ Ed I'm sorry I was always so mean to you. You're my little brother and I pretty much let you fend for yourself and I'm sorry for that. I should have been there for you but then again maybe it was letting you take care of yourself that actually made you into the well rounded person you are now. You have your priorities straight._

_ Well little brother for you it is a bit like Nora except your gift is at a music store. You gonna love this because it's not just for the music store but also for the whole mall. That includes stores for just about any crack-pot scheme you can come up with. Of course, I'm sorry to say little bro, Dad and Nora can cut you off for any length of time. Hey! I need you to be responsible so you can be the role model our baby brother will need._

_ I probably never said this but I love Ed. You are the coolest little brother a guy could ever ask for. Oh and drive Casey insane for me, just kidding. _

_The Derek Venturi_

* * *

We all let a small chuckle escape at the gift and the ending to the letter. After Ed was Lizzie, hers was by far the most brotherly-like thing in the world. It said

* * *

_Hey Liz,_

_ Okay I know you're technically not my sister but you are just as much as my sister as Smarti is. I figured out why Ed and Casey call you their best friend when I was couching you in hockey. You're actually pretty cool. _

_I like that you have a backbone. Don't lose it because. In this world your going to need to be as strong as you possibly can. I'm intrusting you with Edwin. Don't let him slack off make sure he is the best he can be. Don't let him turn into me, only you can keep him in a straight line. Take care, I love you Lizzie._

_Your Brother, Derek_

* * *

Lizzie turned to me and I could see in her eyes the tears that were waiting to be shed. With a flip of her wrist she let the contents of her envelope and out fell lifetime tickets to see Canada's finest at work in soccer. She was so happy. It was such a thoughtful gift. Way to go Derek now I feel like shit for saying that you could careless bought us.

Then little Marti read hers it was short but exactly what I would expect Derek to write to his little princess. It read

* * *

_Smarti,_

_I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I love you with all of my heart okay kiddo, don't you forget that. You'll always be my little Smarti. I'll never forget you. I left you something I hope you like._

_Your Smerek_

* * *

We all waited for Marti to get her gift out of the folder. I smiled when I recognized the piece of cloth in her hand it was Derek's lucky jersey, his favorite picture of the two of them where she was maybe three-years old and he was 11, and a few recordings of stories he made up just for her. The mere thought of hearing his voice lifted the little girl's spirit. And secretly mine too.

After I had heard a short part of one of the stories I started to get impatient and head up the stairs to my room with the envelope in hand. I was determined that if I could never talk to him again I would follow these simple instructions. Once I got to my room I sat on my bed and opened the envelope. I pulled out my letter and started to read. And not five lines in tears started to cascade down my face because of what the letter said.

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**A.N. Sorry that it has taken me so long to post I've been going crazy with my school stuff had to write like four maybe five papers. I promise the updates will come more frequently from now on. I feel so evil for doing that to you guys but its all in good fun. And when I get the next chapter up I hope you like it.**

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	5. Loving You ALways

_**Recap:**_

**_After I had heard a short part of one of the stories I started to get impatient and head up the stairs to my room with the envelope in hand. I was determined that if I could never talk to him again I would follow these simple instructions. Once I got to my room I sat on my bed and opened the envelope. I pulled out my letter and started to read. And not five lines in tears started to cascade down my face because of what the letter said._**

**

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**

_Casey,_

_There is a girl I need to tell something to. She needs to know I love her. The girl I love is so special, she is better than anyone in this whole world. She is kind, beautiful, sweet, smart, passionate, reliable, caring and loving. She is everything I'm not. She is you and you are perfect._

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for being an insensitive jerk. I'm sorry for being an ass to your boyfriends. Though most of all I'm sorry that I only had enough guts to tell you this once I was gone. Casey, I love you. I love everything about you. I love that keener side of yours. I love when you feel like rebelling against the parentals and you come to me for help. I love seeing those striking blue eyes in the morning. I love fighting with you because I can just see the passion you put into it and I get to see a side of you no one lese does. I love when you're Klutzilla because you look so adorably lost for a second. I love the sound of your voice. I love how smart you are and the grade grubber in you. I love how you look in the morning. I love it when you dressed up, dressed down, in sweats, as babe raider but most of all I love you as yourself. In all of you're nerdy, grubby, klutzy, preppy, prudish glory._

_I'm sure you don't actually want to know any of this but I have to let you know how I feel. I'm crazy about you. If you were to ask any of the girls that I've dated in the time I've known you they would all tell you that at sometime during our date I would call them "Casey" or I would spend the whole time talking about you. All the girls I dated were to substitute you, though I couldn't find anyone to replace you. Kendra, Emily, Sally they could never measure up to you._

_I would do anything for you. I would kiss you on live television. I would cross the oceans for you. I would do anything and everything for you. To tell you the truth making this decision was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I have no clue how I will survive without seeing you everyday. It's hard enough just thinking about leaving you. In the past three years you have become my life. Know that I love you even though I'm leaving you for all eternity. Don't forget me but also please don't dwell on anything about this letter. _

_Please keep an eye out for my little Smarti. Both of you mean the world to me. I'm sorry for leaving you but I don't regret it. In my heart I know it is a mistake but it is my only choice because I would die if something happened to you._

_I love you for now and for always Cassandra Ashley McDonald. Be safe. _

_Loving you always, Derek Michael Venturi_

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**A.N. I'll update by friday. Promise. I'm going to be integrating Moonlight and Twilight next chapter and I have to work out the details. Oh and I want to thak you to everyone that has been supporting my story.**


	6. Old Life Here I Come

**Recap:**

**_I love you for now and for always Cassandra Ashley McDonald. Be safe. _**

_**Loving you always, Derek Michael Venturi**_

**Warning quite a few F-bombs**

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Tears kept falling as I read and reread the letter. The anger and loss was building up and I was going to explode soon. Just letting the tears stream down my face wasn't going to do me any good. I was seconds from blowing up, the pressure was too much. I shot up from my spot on the bed shoving the papers of the sheets.

"How could you do this to me?!" I screamed into the empty room. I snatched up everything I could get my hands on smashing it into the wall. "How could you just do that Derek?! How could you just tell me that when I can't ever speak to you again?!"

The whole family stood in my doorway astonished at my abrasive actions. Lizzie and Nora looked frazzled but didn't say a word.

"I hate you for doing this to me! I hate you!" I stopped flinging things at the walls and was standing still in the middle of my room, just standing there until my legs gave in and I fell to my knees yelling into the silent air "I HATE YOU!" I just lay there a crumpled mess on the carpet of my room as my sobs shook me to my very core. Lizzie came and wrapped me in her arms.

"Why didn't he tell me before? Why Lizzie? Why?" I cried into Lizzie's chest she tried to calm my sobs by running a soothing hand in my hair. Everyone but my mom and Lizzie had deserted the room to give us some space. Lizzie was rocked me back and forth as I clung to her for dear.

"It's fine Casey. We all will get through this. You don't have to be so dramatic for the family's sake we all know that you didn't think of him as a brother." My mother accused arrogantly. I stood up and out of Lizzie's arms so I could look my mom in the eyes and said in a livid tone.

"Don't you get it? Derek was nowhere near a brother to me _Mom._ I was- _am_ in love with him. I have been since I met him. I've tried to stop loving him but I can't and when I finally gave in to my feelings he disappears and leaves behind this beautiful letter that reveals so much to me. It's just not fair!" The tears streamed down my cheeks. Just as I was about to go into another bout of tears mom spoke up.

"Honey, you'll get over him, like I did your father." The tears in my eyes quickly dried up at that statement. How can she be so fucking heartless as to even mention Dad? All he ever did was love her.

"You never loved Dad like I love Derek." I spat at her.

"How dare you! I loved your father!"

"Yeah but once _something _happened that _made _him change you practically begged for a divorce and you took Lizzie and I away from the one parent that who truly wanted to be with us. He would always pay attention to us. He actually bothered to take an interest in the things we love. He always went to my recitals and Lizzie's soccer matches. He would cancel meetings and come just to see us do what made us happy. _You_ couldn't have cared less_._" I ranted.

"Casey don't you dare raise your voice to me!" She ordered. This was the last straw she doesn't give a flying fuck what I do as long as I don't make her look bad. So you know what CAM is coming out.

"You know what _Nora_?! I don't care anymore I won't play this game from now on!"

"Don't you dare start acting the way you did before especially with them around or you're going to your aunts in Arizona!"

"News flash! Aunt Renée doesn't live in Arizona anymore! She's living in Florida with Phil until they move again because of his job. Izzy doesn't even live with them."

"Then I'll send you to live with your Uncle Charlie or your Uncle Mick you love them so much maybe you'll listen to one of them!"

"That's fine with me. I'd rather live in Forks than keep living here with you! You've made my life miserable. Made me leave everything I love, my dad, my dancing, my friends, my life!"

"You are impossible Casey!"

"Impossible?! How am I impossible Nora?! How?! Just because I don't give a shit what you think that makes me impossible. That doesn't make me impossible it just makes you ignorant." I rebutted.

"Start packing you're going to Los Angeles!" she yelled.

Yes! I'll get to see Mick and he can help me look for Derek. How can she be such a moron that she doesn't even realize that Mick isn't actually related to dad and that he's a vampire. She should be able to tell seeing as how she has first hand experience because of dad. She's so stupid. I on the other hand have a natural talent for noticing the supernatural. I love my vampires and shapeshifters, especially the wolves. Sam Uley was always so cool to ride on.

Old life here I come!

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**A.N. Okay so I know that I promised that I would update by Friday but you see I got the shit out of here after I was practically molested by this one chick. I haven't come back to back to library since I was to freaked man it was just to wierd. Man out of the blue this freaking ugly chick I sort of know comes up next to me and everything is fine but then she starts hitting on me and her hand just ends up on my leg. i thought 'Well maybe she won't go anywhere with that hand.' WRONG-O! next thing I knew her hand was getting up to my crotch so I saved up the document and shot the hell out of there well after saying that my ride was outside. So thats what happened again sorry it took so long. YAY! _Moonlight_ is being brought in and a little bit of _Twilight!_ I want to say thank you to everyone that has been supporting my story. I love all of you. Oh and people from now on look in a few days I'm going to change my authors page and put up a list of authors that are supporting me so I'll support them this and when they have exceptional stories I put those on a seperate list. okay I'm done. BYE!**


	7. I Will Find Him

**Recap:**

**Yes! I'll get to see Mick and he can help me look for Derek. How can she be such a moron that she doesn't even realize that Mick isn't actually related to dad and that he's a vampire. She should be able to tell seeing as how she has first hand experience because of dad. She's so stupid. I on the other hand have a natural talent for noticing the supernatural. I love my vampires and shapeshifters, especially the wolves. Sam Uley was always so cool to ride on.**

**Old life here I come!**

* * *

So I officially hate airplanes. All that fucking turbulence. I'm serious my heart was in my mouth the whole time. Ugh but whatever I'm here now and that's all that matters. Now lets see where that fucking vampire is.

"Casey Ashley McDonald." Came a familiar voice behind me.

"Beth Turner." I said in the same tone. The blonde woman laughed. "So why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work right now?"

"Mick sent me to pick you up. I'm actually working on a story right now. I'm on my way over to investigate. Mick is going to meet up with us there."

"Mick forgot, didn't he? He forgot and since you were close by he asked you to pick me up at the last minute." I stated more than asked. Beth looked down almost sheepish.

"He didn't forget he was just preoccupied." She supplied with a slightest of blushes on her cheeks.

"With wh- Ooooh. Really Beth are you serious! My god you and Mick _finally_ had sex!" I screamed at which she turned a bright scarlet. Maybe I shouldn't have screamed, quite a few people were staring at us because of the outburst.

"Why don't we talk about this in the car so I don't embarrass you again?"

"Yes please." she mumbled so low that if it wasn't for the fact that, as CAM, I have trained with vampires to sharpen my senses. Once we had seated ourselves in the car Beth started the conversation up again.

"To answer that question yes. Although why I'm telling you that little detail I have no idea."

"You're telling me because you know that since I'll be living with Mick I would find out somehow. Or if you hadn't of told me you know that Josef would have enjoyed making it known to me."

"I hate you because that is completely true."

"Yeah well, when you've known those two practically your whole life you sort of get to know them. You also pick up on exactly how their minds work. Which in Josef's case is actually quite disturbing." She laughed at that.

"I can almost imagine what he'd be thinking about. Sex, his freshies, sex, money, sex, and what am I missing-oh yeah sex!" We laughed at the predictability of the inner workings of Josef Kostan's mind.

"Well on to more serious things, what exactly has been going on that got you kicked out of your mother's house?" Beth inquired. I had known this was coming which is why I had spent the better half of the seven hour flight trying to find exactly how to word the situation.

"So you remember the time I called and told you I was in love with someone I shouldn't have been." She nodded. "Well after that I tried to put some distance between us but there was only so much space I could actually put between us. And then I just fell even more in love with him. I promise." At this point I was nearly hysterical and Beth seemed to notice as she put her hand on my leg. "But when I got to know him, he was so sweet and kind and funny. We got along so well. We were the perfect match. We completed each other. Where he was a slob, I was a neat freak. Where he was rude, I was nice. Where he was a procrastinator, I was studious. We were complete opposites but we made up for each others faults. Then just when I thought about actually telling him he left. He left the whole family and left behind a letter for each of us. In mine it said… he loved me. I'm in love with my stepbrother and he's in love with me. So I have to find him." The tears that had been falling had vanished and an inferno was smoldering within the depths of my soul. After a few seconds of silence I answered an unasked question that hung in the air with the bomb I had just dropped.

"For the time being I am Cam, no one will stand in my way, no human, vampire or shapeshifter will stand in my way." The rest of the ride was filled with my silent brooding and occasional questions Beth would make which I would answer truthfully.

Casey is nice. Cam is mean. Sandra is the levelheaded one. It probably seems as if I have multiple personality disorder but I don't Sandra is who I really am. Cam was who I was to tick mom off, and Casey was the cover for my past in the Venturi home and who I would pull out when I would get in trouble with the cops. Cam and Casey are polar opposites. Casey is the extreme of the 'goody-goody' whereas Cam as the extreme of the 'troubled child'. I hope that when I find Derek he won't be mad I wasn't the real me. And I say when because I will find him.

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**A.N. Sorry it took so long to update winter break couldn't get on a computer and know I'm being kicked out of my house and my teachers don't seem to let me catch a break so you can imagine howstressed I am. But no excuses I will try my hardest to update by friday. And to Trissacar I hope that clears things up if not tell me in your review and I'll give further explaination. I'm glad that so far everyones liked it. Oh yeah I need a beta that knows about all three fandoms in this story. Thanks for reviewing!**


	8. St John, Konstan, and Whitley

**Recap:**

**I hope that when I find Derek he won't be mad I wasn't the real me. And I say when because I will find him.**

**Warning: The integrated fandom's stories and/or backstories may be altered a bit to work with my story.**

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"Okay so, Mick will you help me?" I looked at the vampire that I sometimes called my uncle. he looked me straight in the eyes and responded "Well, I can't exactly stand in your way I can tell. By that gleam in your that Cam is back with vengeance. And I won't be standing in front of that hurricane when it comes. So I'll help find him any way I can." He chuckled and looked over at the doorway. There standing in all his vampiric glory stood Josef Konstan.

He briskly walked towards me with an incredulous look and just when I thought I was going to be yelled a smirk graced his face as he reprimanded me "Have I taught you nothing or has being with Mick turned you soft?" He questioned. "Life partners come and go there is no such thing as a partner for eternity so why should you cling to a relationship with one person?"

"Unlike what you did with Sarah?" I interjected.

"Yes Josef," came a feminine voice, "if you don't believe in partners for eternity then why exactly did you change me?" I looked behind Josef and noticed that a beautiful blonde woman that I can quickly identify as Sarah Whitley, the human woman Josef fell in love with and turned. I dismissed the fact that she was actually up and not in a coma and watched as Josef shot around and tried to fix the little mess he'd made himself.

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**A.N. Sorry but the whole thing with being kicked out happened...So well I'm going to leave you guys with this for right now and on Wednesday I promise I will have a new chapter this is just to make up for not updating in more than two weeks. I love you all I'm sorry its so short but its all I could get out. And thanks to everyone that sent me reviews.**


	9. One Person

**Recap:**

"**Yes Josef," came a feminine voice, "if you don't believe in partners for eternity then why exactly did you change me?" I looked behind Josef and noticed that a beautiful blonde woman that I can quickly identify as Sarah Whitley, the human woman Josef fell in love with and turned. I dismissed the fact that she was actually up and not in a coma and watched as Josef shot around and tried to fix the little mess he'd made himself.**

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"No babe, of course not! I was just playing around with her! You know I love you with all my heart! Please, I didn't mean anything by it! Don't cut me offff!" pleaded the man with his wife. "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day Josef Konstan, the biggest and most egotistical player, would beg a woman for _anything_." Well then again they say there is a first for everything. I've grown up with one guy that wasn't a one woman man and would never beg or plead or anything of the kind another that said he practically hated himself. Now the former is with the love of his life and the latter has finally accepted what he is.

This life, with these guys, is something I would never in any moment give up.

I think I'm gonna have to choose soon.

Life or death.

Vampirism or martyrdom.

That is what it all comes down to. Well at least for me. But when it comes down to it, what _will_ I pick? Either way I want to know find Derek before I have to decide. I don't want to live eternity if I can't at least know that Derek is alive and well. I know that the Volturi probably won't like it but we have an agreement and they can't go back on the stipulations of the agreement.

But I no that if I'm not here there will be a war waged in the supernatural world.

They say I'm a_ special._ I've met Eleazer and he said that I'd be an influential part in the Supernatural Realm. He didn't say exactly how but he said that I would be one half of a set, the only ones that would be as strong enough to possibly command the vampire race. I refuse to go against the Volturi for the rights to rule. I just won't do it. Then somehow word got back to the Volturi and that specific knowledge made them want me even more.

"CASSANDRA ASHLEY MCDONALD!" I heard a voice yell. "What!" I snapped at the offending person, Josef. I should have guessed. That overgrown child!

"Goodness, you're worse than a 2 year-old!" Josef snickered. "I asked if you wanted pizza, Cam." Beth asked. "Yeah, sure." I responded. "Stuffed crust, pepperoni, ham and sausage?" "You know me so well." I joked. Everyone seemed to laugh at my sarcasm.

* * *

**A.N. Sorry I took so long I had promised you guys Wednesday but that Monday I'd been feeling extremely bad since I'd been sick for a few days and well when I was typing up this chapter I nearly fainted and after going to the ER I found out I had the strongest strain of the flu. So next chapter is a special treat for you guys I wasn't going to do it but since it has been so long I will give it to you to make up for not updating in so long.**


	10. Eternity Without The One I Love

**A.N. ****This is the special treat I was talking about! I hope you all like it! Review!**

* * *

Everything was just put in place when I got that letter. I knew that if I didn't leave and do what I swore I would do, my family would be the ones to reap the consequences.

I had to leave there was no other choice.

There was nothing else I could do.

After I found out that Damien wasn't human my life was changed and not for the better. Somehow the Volturi found out that I was in on the secret.

They gave me two choices:

Either I'm buried with the secret.

Or.

I become part of those to who the secret belongs to.

I didn't want to die so I chose to take the coward's way out. To them that decisions was final they said that once I was 18 they would find me and no matter what I would be turned. Its pointless to say that I was so scared out of my mind that I could barely register when I met _them._ They were my salvation.

_**

* * *

**_

I was still so shocked from my meeting with Aro, Caius and Marcus that I almost didn't realize I had walked into a wall. As I was about to hit the ground I felt an icy hand grab my wrist, shaking me out of my trance, my eyes darted up and met with incredibly deep topaz eyes. I could hear a musical humming as I stared at the blondes eyes. I knew that they were vampires I just didn't understand how their eyes weren't blood red or at the very least black. Even Damien, his sire and his sire's mate couldn't find a way to not have the repulsive crimson eyes so they constantly put in contacts. But this vampires eyes, they were genuinely topaz. I suddenly jolted out of my stupor and said the first thing that popped up in my mind.

"_**How are your eyes topaz?"**_

_**They chuckled at my trivial and abrupt question. "Why are you here?" the blonde countered seemingly unamused. **_

"_**I was brought here for knowing your secret, though I'm finding it hard to believe that you really are vampires." They sobered up quickly at that.**_

"_**Then you should know that we**_** are**_** vampires." A big muscular guy that now stood next to the blonde with his arm on her shoulder said. Everyone of the vampire's heads swiveled sharply to look at him with disbelief apparent on their faces.**_

"_**Yes I do. I just don't understand how your eyes are that color." I admired the seven vampires for the astonishing color of their eyes.**_

"_**Well it's a long story." The short pixie said.**_

"_**I've got some time."**_

* * *

That day I found out about the alternate lifestyle that vampires could have.

I also found were I was going to spend the rest of my eternity.

Damien was quite pleased that he didn't have to kill humans anymore.

Then the fateful day I met Casey McDonald. That day was when I finally forgot my impending demise and focused on the here and now.

Funny thing is when that letter came for me my world crashed and burned.

Everything had finally started going my way.

I remember _the _party.

The one I went to just five months ago. I remember I had started getting tipsy when I spotted Casey and I won't go into details s I'll just say that is one night I will never forget. My human memory may begin to fade but that will never disappear. Though I no she doesn't remember, she was so drunk that night.

The letters I left for everyone.

I remember how I poured everything I could into those.

Especially Casey's.

I left.

It hurt like crazy to do so.

But I did.

The change.

The agony induced from it.

Now my life.

To face eternity alone.

Eternity without the one I love.

But I have my memories.

They'll have to do.


	11. We Have To Go To Voterra, Don't We?

"Casey," I heard Mick call from downstairs. I got up from my spot at the desk and headed down the stairs. For the past week Mick has been helping me find Derek. "What is it Mick?" I asked as I approached him.

"Casey, you might want to sit down for this." I started to get a little scared. What did he find out?

"Why? What did you get?" Mick took a deep breath as he sat me down.

"Casey. I was looking into it and it seems he knew about us. They must have given him the same choice they gave you. If I'm not mistaken his eighteenth birthday was a month ago. He knew what was coming and was preparing for it." Oh god. It makes sense.

"He left to protect us. He didn't want anything to happen to us, especially Marti and Me."

"Casey your times coming too what are you going to do?" Mick asked genuinely concerned. What _was_ I going to do? I dropped my hand on top of my abdomen. This had just wiped my mind of anything that wasn't founded on my drive to find Derek.

"Mick you're right it's getting close to my deadline. With everything that's been going on it just escaped my mind. I have five months until its time. What am I going to do? I want to be turned- have to be- turned, but if I have no reason to stay alive… Why should I?" I was practically hysterical. This is the completely irrational Casey side of me. I've never been like this only when I was in Canada. I've never showed my real feelings to anyone, but Derek and on occasion Sam or Emily. This was uncharted territory to Mick. So he did what any normal person would do, he sat next to me just running his hand soothingly on my back. I suddenly turned and hid my head in his neck while wrapping my arms around his chest. He continued to rub my back just holding me understanding where I was coming from. Once I had calmed down a bit I slowly pulled out of his arms.

"Sorry about that. I guess I've just been Casey for so long that some reactions are just second nature now." I defended.

"Casey, its fine. I'm here for you why else do you think I would be taking your crazy, obnoxious, lazy ass in." he joked.

"Why because I'll make sure you won't be so sexually frustrated, because we both know a sexually repressed male is in no way fun to be around." I teased.

"That was so funny I forgot to laugh." he responded sarcastically.

"I know its one of my many charms." I replied smirking smugly.

"Speaking of charms, where are your signature charms? I haven't seen them around."

"Oh you mean Marillyn, Stacii, and Ana?"

"I was talking about Stacii. You still have Ana. I thought you would have sent her back to Caius."

"I was going to but when I got in and turned her on- mmmm."

He laughed at my seemingly inability to create coherent thoughts.

"They're with Jake right know. He's checking them for any damage I may have caused my babies during any of my races." I said completely serious.

"Well I can't really expect any less from you and your car obsessed mind. Now can I?" He said sarcastically.

"Nope you really can't." After a few second of comfortable silence I finally asked the question that laid heavily on my mind. "We have to go to Voterra, don't we?"

"Yes." He responded with a sigh.

"How exactly are we going to do that? You know mom won't let me go she is completely opposed me having anything to do with the supernatural." I was a bit curious as to how exactly we were going to leave the country.

"We'll tell her that we are going on vacation, we just won't say where we are going."

"It's good to see that my devious mind is rubbing off on you."

Well I guess this we're ging to Italy. SCORE!

* * *

**A.N. I promise next chapter will be longer but I need more votes before I can start writing. I need to know what you want to happen in the next chapter. And I'll go into more detail on Marillyn, Stacii, and Ana next chapter or chapter 13 for those of you who don't want to check out my website. The pictures of Marillyn, Stacii, and Ana are on the website and the link to the website is on my author's page.**


	12. Hoping For More Information

**Recap: **

"**It's good to see that my devious mind is rubbing off on you."**

**Well I guess this means we're going to Italy. SCORE!**

* * *

"I can't believe we are going back their again last time we were there you barely made it out before they had the huge problem with feeding that day." Mick whispered to himself, as we sat on a bench at the airport. Waiting the hour and a half we have to wait between our connecting and our flight to Italy.

"Just think about it this way, they _can't _do anything to me. I'm too valuable to them. I am the future, there is no way they can kill me." I stated while I reached for my suitcase. "I'm one of the ones that is going to rule in the coming hard times, as it says in the foretelling left to all of the immortal creatures. So they can try- and we both know that they will- but they will never succeed. I have to do what I was put on this earth to do. The Fates won't let me leave until I have completed my mission. Which won't be complete for many a millennia." I finished as we made our way to look at the departures. Ah, there it is 12:35-Italy, just in time to go through customs and get our bags rechecked and head into the terminal. I turned to Mick as he started to speak again.

"I know that but I still think you shouldn't go especially in your situation. It's just that, what if they attack. I can barely hold myself back and I have known you since you were five years old. You're practically my daughter. And I'll protect you accordingly. After what happened the last time you were there, do you think it's wise to walk straight into the lion's den?" He questioned as we made our way through customs.

"I know it seems like I'm putting myself in danger but we both know they will protect me because they know they must or it will be their destruction. The end of you all."

"Well okay fine then they won't but what of the newborn who knows no better than to attack? What can you do if a newborn tries to kill you?"

"Meet his eyes."

"What if he won't look at your face? What if you can't calm this thirst?"

"I'll hope to God that Aro, Caius, and Marcus value their positions." I finished while we started boarding the plane. And just before the plane took off I heard Mick mutter.

"For your sake, I hope nothing happens." Not another word left our mouths until we heard the tell-all voice of the stewardess letting us know we were about to arrive.

Well here goes nothing.

* * *

**I was going to end it there but then I remembered my promise to melissaxerzi.**

* * *

"Why, Miss McDonald it's an honor to have you back, who shall I call for you?"

"I need a meeting. With the heads. And I do _not_ want us disturbed. Do you understand?"

"Yes, m'am completely."

"Good." She didn't move an inch. "Are they in with someone now?"

"No, Miss McDonald." "Good. I will see myself in. Thank you." I walked right past Giana's desk and right through the doors and made my way to where I knew the throne room to be. As I burst into the doors, I shouted, "How many times have I said to leave those close to me untouched?"

"My dear Cassandra, how lovely to see you again." Aro said in such a way as to distract me. "Don't play games with me, Aro. I will not tolerate my loved ones being forced into a life they should not have to suffer through. Break my rules again and I promise you, I will kill you." I stared straight into his eyes. "Do you understand what I am telling you?" He said nothing as a dazed look overtook his eyes "Answer me." "Yes, I understand." he answered in a monotonous voice "Good. Now, what did you do to Derek Michael Venturi?" I asked still staring into his eyes.

"We gave him the standard decision. Death or immortality. His choice was immortality. We gave him until his eighteenth birthday. It is now well past it and he called to confirm his transformation the day after approximately a month and a half ago. He simply has not come so we can see him to verify." Damn. I was hoping for more information. Hold on a sec…

"Where is he now?" "We don't know his exact location he never mentioned it." "Fine you may return now." I broke our gaze and he walked up to his throne. I glanced toward Mick and he knew what I wanted. So he walked up to Aro and touched his hand. I could trust Mick he would be able to give the most important information of all, which was on the forefront of my mind. There was a second of silence in which one by one the heads and the stronger guards turned to look at me. First Caius, then Marcus, Jane and Alec, then Felix and Demetri and just when it was becoming uncomfortable, finally Aro lifted his head and look at me.

I turned and walked out the door.

* * *

**A.N. Sorry i took so long been extremely busy I promise you I will have my next chap up in a few days. Okay I'm trying something new. If you review you will get a preview of next chap. AND every 10th review gets a quote in the new chap. Okay so I'll shut up now. Go my babies review muahahaha. Sorry wrong thing. Peace. Love. _Raquelle_**


	13. Shinedown’s Second Chance!

**Recap: **

**I glanced toward Mick and he knew what I wanted. So he walked up to Aro and touched his hand. I could trust Mick he would be able to give the most important information of all, which was on the forefront of my mind. There was a second of silence in which one by one the heads and the stronger guards turned to look at me. First Caius, then Marcus, Jane and Alec, then Felix and Demetri and just when it was becoming uncomfortable, finally Aro lifted his head and look at me. **

**I turned and walked out the door.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own ****Shinedown's Second Chance.**

* * *

This time around we went on a private jet though this time we're stopping in Florida so I can visit with my aunt Renée for an hour or two. Then hop back on the jet and head over to Seattle, Washington. Uncle Mick's going to drive Stacii, I'm taking Marrillyn and Ana should be at Jake's by now. He's probably having fun showing off 'his' awesome bike to everyone on the Rez.

"I'm gonna be makin' a quick stop in La Push to tell Jake to follow me into Forks before I head over to Uncle Char's." I told Mick over the little black Bluetooth in my ear. "Okay but be careful." I remained quiet hoping he would dismiss it. "Promise me, Cam." I still remained silent "Cam." Ugh, this man is relentless! "Okay! Fine! I promise! I won't go on a ride on Sam." That still leaves Jared. "Or anyone else." "Fucking shit Mick! That is so incredibly unfair!" "You kind of need to stay healthy Cassandra." Damn he broke out with the 'Cassandra' shit but he's right I need to take better care of myself. "Okay I promise I won't go and take any rides on any one." I responded somberly. "Okay. Then I'll see you when you get to your uncle's house." "Yeah. I'll see you there."

I disconnected the call and turned the radio station up. The station DJ's blasting through the speakers as he introduced the next song "This is **KLLM 103.9 FM **with all your music needs and our next song is one of my personal favorites and number 4 on VH1's top 20 countdown… Shinedown's Second Chance!

_**My eyes are open wide  
And by the way, I made it  
Through the day  
I watched the world outside  
By the way, I'm leaving out  
Today**_

Oh god are you serious. Why does this song have to come on _now_ of all times.

_**Well, I just saw **__**Hailey's  
Comet shooting  
Said why you always running  
In place?  
Even the man in the  
Moon disappears  
Somewhere in the  
Stratosphere**_

This was the song he sang for me on my seventeenth birthday he sang it and then told me that I should follow my dreams. He knew how badly I wanted to become a professional dancer. So he took singing classes and my seventeenth birthday he sang it to me. I was so proud and I almost told him the huge secret I'd been keeping from him.

_**Tell my mother,  
Tell my father  
I've done the best I can  
To make them **__**realize  
This is my life  
I hope they understand  
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...  
Sometimes goodbye  
Is a second chance**_

He knew I that I didn't want to leave my family, and that I didn't care much for Nora. He knew I wanted to make my dream become a reality so badly.

_**Please don't cry  
One tear for me  
I'm not afraid of  
What I have to say  
This is my one and  
Only voice  
So listen close, it's  
Only for today**_

I hope that I still can make my dream come true just so that everything he wished for me won't be in vain.

_**Well, I just saw **__**Hailey's  
Comet shooting  
Said why you always running  
In place?  
Even the man in the  
Moon disappears  
Somewhere in the  
Stratosphere**_

He's gone so now I have to go it alone. I _have_ to do this for him.

_**Tell my mother,  
Tell my father  
I've done the best I can  
To make them **__**realize  
This is my life  
I hope they understand  
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...  
Sometimes goodbye  
Is a second chance**_

This is going to be somewhat of a new beginning for me.

_**Here**__**'s my chance  
This is my chance**_

I will get back to you.

_**Tell my mother,  
Tell my father  
I've done the best I can  
To make them **__**realize  
This is my life  
I hope they understand  
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...  
Sometimes goodbye  
Is a second chance**_

I promise you.

_**Sometimes goodbye**_

I will.

_**Is a second chance**_

"I love you Derek where ever you may be." I murmured as a single tear slid down my cheek. The song finished and as another was starting I realized that I was nearly at Jake's house, so I turned down the radio and wiped away the errant tear.

I turned down the street and just as I expected the three buffoons where there in the driveway, Jake leaning on my bike and Embry and Quil ogling the shit out of my baby. I pulled up right behind there dumb asses and started to get out of the car when six arms yanked me out and pulled me into a creepy group hug as they all simultaneously yelled my nickname. "Uh guys?" I muttered after a while. "Can you let go now I'm losing air?" They loosened their grip and let me step back. "Look at you all sexy in that spiffy black shirt, tight ass jeans and converse." I struck a pose and we all laughed. We talked for a while about what had been happening and after a while I decided I should get my business done.

"So Jake where's your dad? I really need to talk to him." "He's at a meeting with the other elders. They should be just about done." "Do you know if Sam is there? I really need to talk to him." "He should be, he is one the elders. Can I ask though why do you always talk to him? If your in love with him you need to know that he's not gonna to leave Emily." I laughed at the notion of me being in love with Sam. "No Jake," I laughed. "I'm definitely not in love with Sam." "Then why do you have to talk to him about all the time?"

I sobered up quickly at that question. "It's complicated. I'll tell you when the time is right." I sighed at the thought of having my best friend go through that but I knew I couldn't stop it. "I'm gonna go and I'll be back with Billy once I'm done talking with Sam." I informed Jake heading back to my car. "When I get back you're following me back on _my_ bike. Okay!" I said with the peppiest voice I could muster never straying my eye from the car until I finished. I turned around as Jake nearly fell on his ass and the guys went slack jawed and second later started cracking up.

* * *

"Sam how much longer do they have?" I asked the Quileute pack's alpha standing next to me as I watched Billy interact with a few of the other elders. He looked at his feet "It seems to me like it'll be only a few more weeks," he looked up at Billy, "two months at most. What's confusing me the most is that it seems that Quil, Embry and Seth might potentially change. So many boys at one time and so young at that."

I looked at him silently contemplating if I should tell him what I think I might have seen. I turned my head down and barely whispered "Leah is another." He quickly caught it though with his sensitive hearing and his head whipped around to stare at me "No." He ground out between his clenched jaw. "Sam you have to see the facts she getting taller her figure is becoming more refined. It's only a matter of time. It will be harder for her because we both know if she does its for a reason she doesn't know. Nobody but you and I know. I want you to keep someone by her at all times I don't care if you have to order them. This could hurt Harry." His eyes had softened and started to water during my speech. We both looked up as the door opened and Leah walked in and went to her father who promptly stood and walked out with her. "I'm sorry about all this. I know it's all because I'm here." Damn! What's with my hormones? "No Cam. It isn't, its just in our blood." He put his arm around me in a comforting manner.

I glance at my watch and realized the time. "Shit! I have to go Sam I said I was going to be at my uncles an hour ago." I gave Sam a sideways hug and called out to Billy to let him know we had to leave. We got to the car and remembered I could lift so I ran back in and asked Sam to help me get Billy into the car. Once he was in and we once again said our 'good bye's I took of and the real fun began.

"So when are you going to tell Charlie?" My blood ran cold. "What do you mean Billy?" "You know what I'm talking about. If you don't tell him I will." "I-I'll tell him in a couple days. Once all the excitement of my move starts to die down." "You better." After a few moments in an awkward silence we started to talk away like nothing. Now lets just hope things so this smooth when I got to the Cullen's with Mick later on.

**

* * *

**

A.N. Sorry it took me a bit longer than I thought it would to get a project done. So there you go. You know the drill. And something extra for the person who can guess what Billy was talking about. I'm going to erase the review if it's right so it doesn't spoil it for everyone else. Oh and just incase you ask yes the radio station is a real station in Forks.

Peace. Love.

_**Raquelle**_**.**


	14. Got a secret, Can you keep it?

**Recap: **

**"So when are you going to tell Charlie?" My blood ran cold. "What do you mean Billy?" "You know what I'm talking about. If you don't tell him I will." "I-I'll tell him in a couple days. Once all the excitement of my move starts to die down." "You better." After a few moments in an awkward silence we started to talk away like nothing. Now lets just hope things so this smooth when I got to the Cullen's with Mick later on.**

* * *

"Hey Jake are you and the guys coming in or you going to PA. 'Cause if Izzy hasn't made dinner, then I'm gonna be makin' somethin' to eat." "Well we haven't been by to see Charlie in a while and it would be nice to see Bella again. It's been a while since we've seen her, like four years." Jake said. "You haven't seen her since she moved in with Uncle Charlie." "No actually I was kind of busy for a few days." "With wh-" How could I forget what last Wednesday was? "Oh. I'm so sorry with everything that's been going I completely forgot I'm sorry." I gave Jake a hug as best I could and after a sec we remembered Billy and the boys. "Well let's get in there."

* * *

God my family is insane. But I love them to bits they are the best thing I have in this world.

I laughed at Uncle Charlie's jokes along with everyone else.

I can't believe that I'm hiding something this big from them. It's such a big deal, its going to change my life, and theirs. God why the hell does this make The Pierces song Secret run through my mind.

**Got a secret,  
Can you keep it?  
Swear this one you'll save.  
Better lock it in your pocket,  
Taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you  
Won't tell what I said.  
'Cause two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

Only one person knows about this secret as of right now. I'm hoping to tell everyone the news later on this but there is only so much that I can do without having another breakdown. This is family though so if I do tell them then I don't have to worry about them mocking me.

**Why do you smile  
Like you have told a secret?  
Now you're telling lies  
'Cause you have sworn to keep it.  
But no one keeps a secret,  
No one keeps a secret.  
Why when we do our darkest deeds  
Do we tell?  
They burn in our brains,  
Become a living hell.  
'Cause everybody tells,  
Everybody tells.**

There is only one thing I am going to hate. Telling the Cullens will be extremely hard since this is going to affect them and their futures just as much as it will mine.

**Got a secret,  
Can you keep it?  
Swear this one you'll save.  
Better lock it in your pocket,  
Taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you  
Won't tell what I said.  
'Cause two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

Everyone started to quiet down and I looked around admiring the people I considered my family. My eyes met Billy's and I knew I there was no way that I could not tell them about this huge change in my life and theirs.

**Look into my eyes,  
Now you're getting sleepy.  
Are you hypnotized  
By secrets that you're keeping?  
I know what you're keeping,  
I know what you're keeping.**

I looked at Uncle Charlie, Izzy, Jake, Mick and Billy, and all I could think about is how they would react. Would they hate me? Would they sympathize? Would they abandon me when I need them the most?

**Got a secret,  
Can you keep it?  
Swear this one you'll save.  
Better lock it in your pocket,  
Taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you  
Won't tell what I said.  
'Cause two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

They're my family they love and I have to hope for the best. I looked at Billy and confessed "Guys I have to tell you something." He nodded his head and I went on. "I haven't been completely truthful with you. And the truth is-"

* * *

**[Spoken]  
- Alison?  
- Yes, Catherine?  
- I have something I want to tell you, but  
You have to promise never to tell anyone.  
- I promise.  
- Do you swear on your life?  
- I swear on my life.  
[End spoken]**

* * *

"How do you know the Cullens?" "Oh. Um, Dad was really good friends with Carlisle. You know how I also got the clumsy gene. When I wasn't dancing, I fell so much that one time I cracked my skull open Carlisle was the attending on my case. He kept in contact to make sure I was getting better. Once in a while he would pass by because I had a pretty bad case of the flu, that was the day that I met Esme."

**Swore you'd never tell.  
You swore you'd never tell.  
You swore you'd never tell.  
You swore you'd never tell.**

"Cam have you- you know talked to them in a while?" I looked at Izzy for a sec, there was a tiny hint of a blush and she was averting her eyes. What does she want to know about or rather who? I'm pretty sure I would know if she went for people on our team, so not Alice or Rosalie. Can't be Emmett. Can't be Jasper. So then… I mentally chuckled and discreetly slipped my hand into my pocket and texted Alice to call me while I answered Izzy. "Yeah. Heard quite a bit from Edward about you." At that very second my Bluetooth beeped my phone and rang out with Weezer's Freak Me Out. I smiled and said "Alice. Gotta take this." Her smile seemed to fall a bit and she bit her lip.

**Got a secret,  
Can you keep it?  
Swear this one you'll save.  
Better lock it in your pocket,  
Taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you  
Won't tell what I said.  
'Cause two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

I walked out of the door and got in the Marrillyn and drove towards the mansion. "Okay, give me the down low." Alice spent the next five minutes telling me about how Izzy's Edward singer. How he left for a few days. How Edward, being an idiot and nearly exposing them, saved her from Tyler's van. How she's desperately trying to figure out what Edward is because she is knows that he's not human. From what I overheard when she was talking to Jake she's going to the beach this weekend. And the pack is going to be there.

**Got a secret,  
Can you keep it?  
Swear this one you'll save.  
Better lock it in your pocket,  
Taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you  
Won't tell what I said.  
'Cause two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

I got to the house and hung up with Alice since she was already outside waiting for me to get out of the car. I grabbed my bag and zipped my jacket up as I stepped out of the car. As soon as the door was closed I was pushed up against it by a tiny little pixie. "Oh my god! It's been so long Camy." She pulled away and looked me up and down. "Okay I am **not** liking this outfit, the converse are okay though. Of course you have your panda purse, that's a cute necklace. And I see you still wear the ring." I looked down at my right ring finger where the ring with the family crest the Cullen's gave me currently was. "Hey, you always wear your chocker so leave me alone."

**Got a secret,  
Can you keep it?  
Swear this one you'll save.  
Better lock it in your pocket,  
Taking this one to the grave.  
If I show you then I know you  
Won't tell what I said.  
'Cause two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

We heard a chuckle from behind us and I spun around knowing exactly who it was. "Prude-ward!" I screamed resulting in a deep throated laugh from my big teddy bear brother. I pushed Edward away and ran to Emmett. "Emmy-bear!"I screeched. Everyone laughed once I was starting to lose my breath I heard Esme reprimanding him telling him that everyone else wanted to say hi and give me a hug. Emmett promptly let go and I was soon swept away in the loving arms of the woman I truly considered my mother. She let go a second later and gave me a knowing look and I looked down at my feet. Carlisle came and gave a hug and I went through the process again. Jasper and Rosalie ran up to me from there quick hunt and made a human-Cam sandwich.

**Yes, two can keep a secret  
If one of them is dead.**

"Okay so why don't we go inside I need do tell you guys something." We all walked in to the house. "Okay sweetheart tell us what you need to tell us." Esme said once everyone was seated, Esme and Alice at either side of me. I started fiddling around with the necklace Derek gave me and took a deep breath. As I started to tell them everything that had happened in the last year, by the end of my confession I had fold my hands and rested them against my abdomen. As Alice finished asking me a questionthe door swung open and…

**Yes, two can keep a secret  
If one of us is  
Dead**

In walked Derek… with his arm around a girl, that looked quite comfortable in his arms, both with wide smiles on their faces followed by another guy that was laughing. I chocked on a sob that I was trying to hold in causing the trio to snap their heads toward us, namely me. Derek's smile quickly fell as he recognized me. I quickly made my way towards the door and managed to slip past him before he managed to recover. I made it my car and as the keys slid in and I sped out of the driveway I felt a river of tears start streaming down my cheeks.

* * *

**A.N. Sorry I took so long updating. My laptop started acting up. Then I got real busy for a week. And when I finally had time type something up I got a little bit of writers block. But it's gone and this came pouring out. Peace. Love **_**Raquelle.**_


	15. Saving Her Life

**Disclaimer: **

**Do not look pictures up. It is not for the faint of heart. You will cry and if you believe in God you will wonder why he can let that happen so don't look for pictures. If you want to see a picture I have one on my Facebook and Twitter but do not, I repeat, _do __not_ look up pictures on anencephaly.**

* * *

I hate this fucking song. All it does is remind me of _that _day. The night those three beautiful miracles were born. It was a sad day entirely too sad and we had to go through it. We live with the memories of that day. The only difference between this song and us was that it was _she_ instead of a _he_.

She tried to be strong through it all. She had to be since from her whole family the only person that cared and supported her was her father. And it was my fault. If I had just worn or taken two second to put on a condom or even let her out of bed the next morning so she could take her morning after pill. God we've suffered some much- what the hell am I talking about she's the one that had to take the brunt of it all.

It was my entire fault.

_**Step one you say we need to talk**__**  
**__**He walks you say sit down it's just a talk**__**  
**__**He smiles politely back at you**__**  
**__**You stare politely right on through**__**  
**__**Some sort of window to your right**__**  
**__**As he goes left and you stay right**__**  
**__**Between the lines of fear and blame**__**  
**__**You begin to wonder why you came**__**  
**_

I remember the day she sat me down and told me like it was yesterday.

"_We need to talk." She had said just moments before she dropped the bomb. We were standing in front of my house so we stepped in and sat at the table._ "_What's wrong?" I had asked smiling. She looked straight forward and out the window watching the lake in the background."I'm pregnant." She said it unfeelingly almost as if she didn't even understand it. I tried to meet her eye to see if she was playing some kind of sick joke on me or if she was telling me the truth. She wouldn't look at me. What felt like hours past before I finally got the confirmation I needed, a single tear making its silent heartbreaking journey down her cheek. With that tear came the realization that I was going- I was going to be a father._

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**__**  
**__**Somewhere along in the bitterness**__**  
**__**And I would have stayed up with you all night**__**  
**__**Had I known how to save a life**__**  
**_

The months that followed were and long but well worth it. Every single appointment at the OB's office, I was with her. Her bi-weekly check-ups, I was there with her. Through all the ill-treatment from the nurses and expecting mothers, I was there with her. The day we had the worst appointment, I was there with her.

_That fateful day was painstakingly ordinary. You would expect the day you got the worst new of your life you would have the worst day, sort of a way of the universe getting you ready for that horrible news. We had no such luck. We went through everything as it had become routine. Then, during the sonogram, the technician started having some trouble and we could both tell. "What's wrong with the babies?" I blurted out. The technician turned to me with sad eyes and muttered, "I need a doctor. I can't tell you what it is. Only a doctor can give you this news if it is what it seems to be."_

_**Let him know that you know best**__**  
**__**Cause after all you do know best**__**  
**__**Try to slip past his defense**__**  
**__**Without granting innocence**__**  
**__**Lay down a list of what is wrong**__**  
**__**The things you've told him all along**__**  
**__**And pray to God he hears you**__**  
**__**And pray to God he hears you**__**  
**_

_He showed us these-these pictures of babies with the same condition as Baby C. Our little angel had this… strange disorder. I couldn't imagine what my beautiful girlfriend was thinking. This strong, beautiful, intelligent woman was trying to understand how our child could have this. Her eyes were watering and when she looked up at me I realized we were both crying. The doctor then turned to us and the next words out of his mouth shocked me and pissed me off, "I think you should abort Baby C." I looked down at her to see what her reaction was to that. Her tears were drying up, her face was turning red, a fire growing in her eyes, her knuckles were going white from how hard she was clenching her fists. A fire burning in her eyes as she opened her mouth to retaliate and I already knew she was going to give him hell._

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**__**  
**__**Somewhere along in the bitterness**__**  
**__**And I would have stayed up with you all night**__**  
**__**Had I known how to save a life**__**  
**_

"_How _dare_ you tell me to kill my child? _MY CHILD! _Who the fucking hell do you fucking think you are to tell me to kill one of my own children that are growing in my womb? You are _no one_ to tell me shit!" With that she turned and walked away going out towards the car, muttering something about him being a stupid ass fucker or whatnot, and I knew she wanted to leave but as I reached the door to exit the exam room as she had the doctor said something which made me stop in my tracks. I turned not believing my ears as the fucker again said "Convince her to abort Baby C. It's what's best for all of them." He said with this solemn look on his face._

_The words resonated in my ears as I quickly advanced on him. I grabbed him by the shirt and raised him off the ground and I don't even know what I was saying, all I know is that at some point I told him we were never coming back and he was a stupid ass fucker if he thought he wouldn't upset a 16 year old first time mother by saying that shit. After what felt like hours but I later found out was only a few minutes, I turned and walked away barely registering the crowd that had formed by the door._

_**As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

The next day we didn't have school so we went looking for a new OBGYN.

_I picked her up at eight, had breakfast and went off on the new journey. _

_One that turned out more exhausting then we ever thought it was going to be. _

_Two hours and seven doctors later all of whom kicked us out as soon as we mentioned what Baby C had and the fact that we were not going to do an abortion. _

_At this point we were giving up hope on finding an OBGYN but as we were losing all hope we found ourselves at the office of Dr. Eirene Alders. She was a wonderful woman whose patient list was predominantly composed of pregnant teenage girls and teen mothers. In all honesty it was amazing to meet her. A woman like her there is no other._

_After explaining everything to her as we had all the others we saw this strange look grace her kind face. That look scared us both. We thought for sure she was going to act the same way all the rest had. Just as we were about to stand she said the strangest thing. _

_"I know what it feels like to think no one understands or cares and to believe everyone just wants the death of your child. I understand." She abruptly turned and picked up a picture she had on the table behind her. "This is my daughter Selena. I was your age when I got pregnant with her. The second I found out I freaked out but I there was no way I could let her down and I hadn't even had her yet. At four months- at four months I found out I was having an anencephalic baby. My world started crashing down around me. Even though everyone was telling me to abort I didn't, I was sure I would not give up on her and no matter how hard I wanted to give in I never did because of the little angel I was going to have. December 15, 1998 saw the tears of a mother and beginning and end of a life." _

_At some point during her story I had grabbed her hand but when she finished her story she left my side went around the table and gave Dr. Alders a hug. It was astonishing to see what that simple embrace did to those two women. They seemed to be fueling each other, it was almost as if this shared experience was giving them both the strength to go on for one more day._

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**_

November 18, 2005. The birth day of my- our little miracles.

_She had been having some back pain and apparently also contractions but she hadn't wanted to tell me so now we were rushing to the hospital because her contractions were 1 minute apart and getting closer. Once we got to the hospital we met up with Dr. Alders and she explained to the on-call OBGYN that we had opted for a natural delivery since we had two healthy triplets and the third one had enough of her skull to where she could crown properly. Dr. Alders suggested I stay outside since her dad, uncle and cousin had just gotten there. Her cousin went in and I stayed with her dad and uncle. Her bitch of a mother didn't even dare come and I was glad we didn't need even more problems._

_Ten hours of waiting for news and finally a familiar face._

_Dr. Alders came out with the biggest smile I had ever seen and I ran._

_I ran into that room as if my life depended on it._

_And there they all were, the woman I loved, the mother of my children holding two of our angels and her cousin holding our other little angel, our little boy. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I walked over to her small tired frame and she handed me one of our angels. I knew right away who she was._

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life**_

She lived for one hour.

She changed our lives and impacted many others.

After one hour she saw fit to leave us and we grieved but we knew.

We knew it was her choice.

At 12:30 A.M. on November 17, 2005 our little angel Ileana Armida Hayyel left this world for the next.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**_

How ironic is it that one month later on that same day I got into an accident that just nearly took my life?

I nearly left her on her own here with two children to raise on her own.

We are so glad for her connections, without which she would be doing my job all alone.

_"Sir! Sir! We need you to stay with us! Sir!" I could just barely hear the EMT say. Then I heard her just as clear as if she was screaming in my ear. "Oh my god, baby! Baby please don't leave me! Please don't leave us! Baby please remember Isaiah and Lailah they need their daddy so please baby you can't leave us!" At the mention of my son and daughter I could feel my resolve to live strengthen. _

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life**_

Her connections were- are- amazing.

She made it possible for me to die yet live and live a good life as, in a way, myself.

_"Baby, this is my Dad's friend. He's going to help you so you'll never be in pain again. We need to explain to you though. This won't be easy. You're going to feel like your body is burning for three days. Then eternity. As- as a- oh god. As a vampire." I looked at her as if she was crazy through the little bit of until it finally sunk in and things started piecing themselves together and I realized I could watch my kids grow up and maybe even still be in their lives._

_I just looked her in the eyes. I knew she'd understand._

That was the day I was changed.

Now it's been nearly year and a half since our children were born.

A year since I was changed.

Half a year since we fell out of love and I found my true mate.

And it's been three months since she found out she was pregnant again from the man I know will be _her_ true mate.

I'm going to see her in a week so she's going to see her kids since she hasn't in three months which is the longest she's ever gone.


	16. Reactions: Standing Through It All

**Recap:**

**In walked Derek… with his arm around a girl, that looked quite comfortable in his arms, both with wide smiles on their faces followed by another guy that was laughing. I chocked on a sob that I was trying to hold in causing the trio to snap their heads toward us, namely me. Derek's smile quickly fell as he recognized me. I quickly made my way towards the door and managed to slip past him before he managed to recover. I made it my car and as the keys slid in and I sped out of the driveway I felt a river of tears start streaming down my cheeks.**

* * *

I sped down the streets. Thinking only of the betrayal, I had believed Derek when I should have known he was only lying. God, I feel like such an utter idiot. But I still love him. I hit the steering wheel with my palms, screaming obscenities and asking myself why I believed him.

My palms started to hurt badly so I blasted the radio and the song that came on only made me cry harder. It was as if the universe was conspiring against me with the goal of making me hate myself. And Derek.

**She never slows down  
She doesn't know why but  
she knows that when  
She's all alone feels  
Like it's all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long  
And she fears if she cries  
That first tear  
The tears will not stop  
Raining down  
**

The house finally started to come into view. I sped toward the house trying my hardest to stop the tears but I felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Even as the rain started to pour down I couldn't stop crying. The tears continued to pour down my face as I parked in the driveway.

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**

It was pouring down so hard almost as if the universe knew the condition my heart was in and the utter pain I felt. I opened the door and stepped outside but my knees weren't strong enough to hold me up. I fell to my knees the rain pouring around me, the drops hitting me, slamming against my body. My body is so weak from the heart ache and betrayal.

**She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself  
And the fears whispering  
If she stands, she'll fall down  
She wants to be found but  
The only way out is through  
everything she's running from  
Wants to give up and lie down  
**

I was crying so hard and I just couldn't stop. I wrapped my arms around my chest trying to keep myself together. I lifted my face towards the cloud filled sky, the tears and rain drops mixing and streaming down my face. I let a choked sob escape me. My cheeks were drenched from crying like a maniac.

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain  
**

I was beginning to freeze. As the rain pelted my skin I realized I needed to get out of this rain and I knew it but I couldn't stand up, much less walk inside. Every second that passed with the feeling of being pathetic making me cry harder.

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
**

After a few minutes I'd finally gotten fed up with myself. I screamed into the gray raining sky cursing everything, even my very being. The one thing I have never done in my entire life is curse my existence because of the fact that so many things happened only because of me and there are so many things to come that will only happen because of me. Thinking of those two things I was able to gather the strength I needed to at least get back on my feet.

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain**

I was standing in the pouring rain holding onto the car to keep me from falling again while crying like a lunatic.

"Casey?" came a familiar voice. I kept my eyes closed hoping it was just my imagination and it _wasn't_ him.

"Cam." I heard a new voice say but I squeezed my eyes tighter hoping every thought I had of _him_ would go away.

"Cassandra, please answer me honey." There was no way I could misplace this voice especially when the owner was holding both my shoulders. I finally opened my eyes looking him in the eyes.

"Uncle Charlie he's here. He's with the Cullens. I don't know how I'm going to be able to function with him so close and having another vegetarian as a mate. Damnit Uncle Charlie! He said he loved me. He said he loved me and then the next time I see him he's laughing it up with another girl!" I confessed to him as he dragged me out of the rain while Mick held my hand giving me the little comfort he could without interrupting me.

Once I was inside I noticed Billy making tea, Jake with a whole ton of blankets and Bella walking towards me. As soon as she was close enough she pulled me into a hug, holding me tight until I could feel my little cousin's love for me.

She led me up the stairs to our room where she forced me into who knows what. She sat me at the desk and brushed my hair. When she was done with me she brought me back downstairs and once I sat down I noticed Bella to my right, Jake to my left, Charlie in his chair and Mick leaning against the wall all of them watching me intently.

The strained silence was only broken by the low clatter of porcelain on porcelain as Billy tried to bring in the finished tea. Jake went to help him after a minute of him struggling. And then my story took over.

* * *

**A.N. Sorry it took me nearly two years to finally put up some new stuff. I got major writer's block when it came to this story but my friends are encouraging me to continue and finish this wonderful story I now have an outline made out up until chapter 30. I am writing in my spare time and I will have Chapter 17 and _maybe _18 along Chapters 2 and 3 of my Twilight fic _Down._ Check it out. well you know the drill so please... READ AND REVIEW!****Peace. ****Love _Raquelle._**

**P.S. I am currently on the hunt for a Beta. Just putting that out there.**

**P.P.S. A lot of people didn't see the fact that I uploaded _two _chapters not just this one. Please go read that last chapter it is based of of the reason of why it took me so long to update.**


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